FAQs

Ever since I made the decision to go to Israel, I've received a lot of questions (which for the most part, I actually love answering). I decided to answer some of them on here:

"What exactly are you doing?"

I'll be studying at an egalitarian yeshiva (a Jewish educational center that focuses on traditional Jewish texts) for 10 months. The school is called Pardes. Basically, I will be studying Torah and other Jewish texts with people from all over the world (mostly North Americans). I will also be exploring my new home of Jerusalem, volunteering, traveling, and eating gallons of hummus.

"Whoa. So that's like, pretty Jewish."

.... Yes, I suppose it is.

"Do you get a degree?"

No. There is an emphasis in Judaism to "study for the sake of studying itself." Also, Torah study is a very different kind of learning that cannot be measured with a degree. So, I will not have a physical piece of recognition, but I anticipate that this year of learning (for the sake of learning itself) will be hugely beneficial, both professionally and (especially) personally.

"What inspired you to do this?"

This is a great question, because most people that know me know I do very practical things. I would say that quitting my job to move halfway around the world to "study" for a year is a bit impractical. I'm going to answer this question in a later blog post... oh, the suspense.

"How is your Hebrew?"

Currently, I can ask people how they are, where they're from, and how old they are. I can also insult people by calling them fat, ugly, and stupid. So, yea, I'd say my Hebrew is probably "strong" to "very strong."

"So what are your plans after the program?"

I don't know. Stop asking me. Haha, but seriously... stop asking me.

And some of my favorite comments (fyi: these are real)...

At the dentist:

Me (the hypochondriac): "I'm going to Israel for a year, so I won't be able to come in for a cleaning. Do you have any tips to keep my teeth healthy while I'm away?"

Dental Hygienist: "Make sure you bring a few tooth brushes and lots of toothpaste."

Me: .... umm.... they have oral hygiene products in Israel. (They also have electricity, believe it or not).

"Be careful. I heard they don't treat their women well."

Hm. I'm pretty sure you're thinking of just about every other country in the middle east except Israel. Next question.

At a dinner party:

A random gentleman at my table: "So you are going to Israel?"

Me: "Yes, I'll be studying at a Jewish studies institute in Jerusalem."

Gentleman: "You know, my granddaughter, she actually communicates with the dead. She spoke with my father recently, and you know what he told her, that he learned in the afterlife? Are you ready for this? Religion... doesn't.... matter."

Thank you, stranger, for your completely unsolicited advice from your late father.

As time goes on, I'll be posting more FAQs and comedic comments.