Sha-LOM

This weekend, I started using the Rosetta Stone program in Hebrew.

First, a little background. I attended "hebrew school" at my synagogue when I was in elementary/junior high school, where I learned how to read Hebrew characters and sound them out. This was mainly in preparation for my bat mitzvah when I was 13.

For my non-Jewish readers, a bat mitzvah is one of the most significant milestones in the Jewish tradition, where a 13 year old is called to the Torah and publicly welcomed into the adult Jewish community. In other words, you are placed in front of your friends and family at the most awkward stage of your life (ie: acne, braces, huge eyebrows) and asked to chant in a language that you don't quite understand (this is particularly scarring for boys, as their voice crack with each high note). In most cases, a huge celebration ensues, involving kosher "pigs-in-a-blanket," organized line dances led by an overly peppy DJ, and my personal favorite, the notorious "coke/pepsi game."

But I digress.

Back to the Hebrew. So, like many American Jews, I know how to sound out Hebrew characters. I can read you a line of Hebrew, but wouldn't be able to tell you what it means. When I pray, I don't really know what I'm saying. You might be thinking, "isn't that fairly useless?" You would be correct.

So...as I prepare to move to Israel for the year, I am doing everything that I can to learn both biblical and modern Hebrew. I am coupling Rosetta stone with another modern Hebrew program.

Rosetta Stone is..... interesting. The program tries to immerse you in a language from the very beginning. So instead of learning the basics first, you are taught how to say basic words that are coupled with intentionally-politically-correct photos. It is supposed to be as if you are a child, learning to speak from seeing the things around you.

Okay. So, after lesson one, I can now say the following phrases:

The dog eats.

The girl runs.

This is a green book.

This is not a doctor.

Needless to say, I am skeptical.

Furthermore, there is a component of speaking into a headset. The program follows your voice and determines if you are speaking correctly. If you get the phrase wrong, you hear a frustrating bell chime (think somewhere between "ding-dong" and "womp-womp").

Sometimes, I get the word wrong several times in a row. Picture me, sitting in my kitchen, saying "sha-lom" 5 times in a row, each with increasing volume (and frustration).

Also, sometimes I try to trick the program. So instead of saying something like "sha-lom," I will say "ma-mom." It still counts as correct.

So, again I say, I am skeptical.

More to come on my Hebrew-speaking adventures. Until then, "ze lo rofeh" (this is not a doctor).