Some Random Hippie Jewish Yeshiva

"I mean you should be stressed. your moving to a new country where you don't speak the language for a year with pretty much one suitcase worth of stuff and you are going to some random hippie jewish yeshiva that no one knows about to study stuff that you might not even like with people who will probably be weird..."

Over the past few months, I've been asked quite a few times why I'm moving to Israel for the year. Not just "what are you doing there?" or "what are you studying?" But why?

I decided it's time to blog about this. Not only did I promise it in FAQs back in April, but I also have been asking myself this question these last few days, and could use a reminder. Also, I can't fall asleep, and there's only so many episodes of Millionaire Matchmaker that I can watch (lies...I'm shamefully addicted).

Back in October, I was starting to think about next steps in my career/education. I was really happy at my job, but felt an urge to get out of State College. After all, it was my 7th year there. I was starting to feel like I was living in Never-Never-Land: everyone else was staying the same age, but I was getting older. More importantly, I was craving learning and education.


One of my friends/mentors suggested that I look into a year of studying in Israel. I thought this idea was pretty crazy. I'm a very practical person, always using reason and logic to make my decisions. Not only would I be quitting my job, but I would be spending money to live somewhere else for a year, and I wouldn't be earning any kind of degree or certificate. This was certainly not practical, but I checked out the website anyway.


The program looked interesting, and there was something very appealing to me about studying Jewish texts and taking Jewish studies classes (I know, super Jewy). I quickly dismissed it, and said it "wasn't for me." For the next month or so, I checked out the website every day. Finally I decided that there was a reason that I kept looking at the website; something was drawing me to the program. I applied, just to "have it as an option."


I had the opportunity to visit the school when I staffed a trip to Israel in January. Secretly, I didn't want to like it, because then it would become a realistic possibility. I wanted to be able to just cross it off the list, and say, "that's not for me."


I had a good feeling as soon as I walked into the school. Everyone was very warm and welcoming. I was able to sit in on a class in the morning. I won't get into the details of the class, but the essence of the lesson was "following your dreams." We talked about how it's hard to follow your dreams, and it usually requires risks. Sometimes, we don't even know where those dreams will lead, but we need to take a leap of faith in order to figure it out.


Well, shit. If this wasn't a sign, I don't know what is. Is it possible that this actually IS for me?


Yadda, yadda, yadda, a couple more things happened, and here we are seven months later, and I'm about to leave for Israel. The quote at the beginning of this post was said by a friend of mine (who will be studying in the same program as me:), in a hilarious attempt to validate my fears. It encompasses a lot of what I'm feeling right now, which is uncertainty. I'm not entirely sure that I'm going to love (or even like) what I'm doing, and I don't have a perfect answer for why I'm doing this. 


But I do know that for once, I'm doing something impractical, and following my heart instead of my head. And that feels pretty awesome.